Like many people, I just loved the
TV show “Friends”. I watched each week
on Thursday night, when there was such a thing as “Must See TV”, and I have
watched the reruns from time to time in syndication since. I even went to a taping of one episode (it was
the episode where Monica and Chandler were getting a photo for their engagement
announcement). There is one particular
episode that I’m always reminded of whenever the topic of selfless deeds comes
up in conversation. I’ve included it
here:
So the question is, is there truly
a selfless act? Selfless is defined as
being concerned with the wishes and needs of others rather than with one’s own. So yes, there are selfless acts so long as
one is primarily concerned for the
needs of others without seeking one’s own needs or wishes first, which to me
implies that if we end up deriving pleasure or happiness from the result of
meeting another’s needs that’s okay.
Perhaps a better question is: Does it really matter if an act is selfless
or not? Notwithstanding those situations
where a person in the position to help takes advantage of the person in need, and vice versa, what I’m asking is
this: If I put myself in the shoes of
the person who needs help, and then receives it from someone else, in the
moment, do I really care if they’re doing it for a selfless or selfish
reason? Probably not. If I put myself in the shoes of the person in
the position to help, before I carry out the act should I pause and ask myself
if I’m doing the act for selfless or selfish reasons? And then if I discover I do have a selfish agenda, shall I then not help out? Probably
not. If I put myself in the shoes of people indirectly involved with the situation, what good does it do to
judge the person who is helping out the person in need? Probably not much.
So here’s an interesting question:
When I see a person on the street asking for a handout of money, do I
give? There are a myriad of reasons not
to, and I have always wondered if it was in the best interest of the person to
give them money or not, but for now, after much thought, I’ve come to a decision
for myself. If I have the means at the
moment, I will give. It’s not up to me
to figure out by the appearance of the person if they’re truly in need or
not. I will give, selfless act or
not. The way I see it, I’m blessed
and I’m grateful for what I have, I want to live accordingly. I have a feeling “Phoebe” might agree.
I welcome your thoughts, leave a
comment if you choose to share.
-Tessa L. Charles
-Tessa L. Charles
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