Although my wonderful husband likes to give gifts, he’s admittedly not a good gift giver. He hates to shop and isn’t very intuitive as to what someone might enjoy, which is fine because I do like to shop and I enjoy finding the perfect gift for others. That works out fine for others, however, it made it a little tricky for him giving me gifts. After many years, we finally worked out a solution; he’ll “sacrificially” go shopping with me, and, since I like shopping, I consider that part of my gift and then pick out what I want; I think of it like a double gift! The only problem he has with that arrangement is when he asks me before we go shopping, what I want, I frequently list what I need.
Do you frequently talk yourself out of something you want because you don’t really need it? I do. I’m frequently thinking to myself, “I shouldn’t be spending money on that” or “I really should just purchase what I or my family needs” or “If I get this, I’m just being selfish”.
Now there’s nothing wrong with using our discernment in order to be wise with our resources, especially if we have a strict budget. But it’s not wrong to find a way to indulge in what we want once in a while. To always deny ourselves is living in a poverty mind set and that mind set only begets more poverty. Whether you know it or not, there is power in our words, and if we find ourselves frequently saying, “Oh, I’ll never be able to afford this or that”, guess what? We never will! So what we’re really saying is that we don’t deserve what we want or we’re not worth it and what we end up creating is more of a poverty mind set which in turn keeps us denying ourselves…..well, you see how that ends up being a whole cycle of making “poverty” come true, right?
We weren’t meant to live that way, and really all that needs to happen to change that mind set is to change our words and attitude and be wise with our resources. I’ve found it helpful to make a list of things that I want (not need) and not everything I list is very expensive. That way when I’m asked, what I want, I have a better answer than, “Uh, I don’t know” or “Oh, it’s okay, I don’t need anything” (another method I’ve used to deflect from my wants).
This weekend, I challenge you to make your list and change your mind set from this day forward. You deserve it, and you’re worth it. Have fun!
-Tessa L. Charles
-Tessa L. Charles