Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Mama Mia


In one of my previous blogs, I mentioned that for a substantial amount of time I was a Stay-At-Home Mom.  I quit a job teaching speech delayed children when my own son was almost 3 years old and I was expecting my 2nd.  My husband and I figured out the resources it would take to send two children to day care would have been about the same amount of salary as I was making and I jokingly (somewhat) reasoned that if anyone was going to mess up raising my kids, it was going to be me!

I want to spend this day acknowledging those of you who have made that kind of commitment to your families (and to society) no matter how long or short of a time period you have allotted.  I must admit, for myself, it was far from an easy job.  And let’s be clear, those who stay home are not just “Moms” (or in some cases, “Dads”), but chefs, housekeepers, chauffeurs, managers, organizers, teachers, playmates, shoppers, nurse, launderers etc.!  It is a 24/7 shift with no sick days, and no vacation pay and little recognition.

There were many (MANY!) days in which, and let me be honest, I was NOT a happy Mom.  I always felt some kind of guilt.  Guilt that I was too impatient, that I wasn’t getting everything done, that I wasn’t spending enough time nurturing my children, that I wasn’t “contributing” enough  to my family or the world, and most of all, that I wasn’t enjoying my kids like any good Mom should have.  Those of you who are now or have been Stay-At-Home Moms probably know what I’m talking about.

It was only after I started my first part-time job that I realized my worth as a Stay-At-Home Mom, because all of a sudden, everything that I had been doing in my home was NOT getting done!  I realized that all the time I spent “guilting” myself was a grand waste of time.  I often commented to my husband, “Gosh! I need a wife!” meaning that I needed someone at home to get everything done!  Soon,  like any working Mom, I learned to adapt by making short cuts and then just learning to live with a messy home from time to time.  Thankfully, my kids don’t remember my “rantings”, and have grown up to be pretty awesome anyway.  Ultimately, my contributions to this world are two young men who are destined to change it.  As a bonus, I have contributed to my own family legacy by raising such amazing men, and wasn’t that the whole underlying reason to stay home? 

I am so convinced that the time I spent was so valuable, that I have included it in my resume.  It is a mark of accomplishment that I am proud of and I REFUSE to leave it out like a huge blank of meaningless time. 

So I honor, acknowledge, and respect all you Stay-At-Home Moms out there.  And for all you single Moms?   Everything that I just said times 100!!  You ROCK!!!!  Please know this: all your hard work and frustration will not go unrewarded.  You are doing a courageous work that I for one recognize.  And please, when that guilt monster starts creeping into your thoughts, escort it out of your house and DO let the front door hit it on its way out!  Keep on being amazing, I’m proud of you.

-Tessa L. Charles

Monday, January 28, 2013

Follow Ol' Rafiki, He Knows The Way


When my oldest son was about 18 months old, we took him to his first movie, “The Lion King”.  Of course, as a toddler, he didn’t sit still but for 10-15 minutes into the movie, however, it must have made an impression because it became his favorite movie.  We purchased the video tape (yeah, it was that long ago!) and probably watched that thing every day for YEARS!  I can still recite huge chunks of that movie and I know that because from time to time, he’ll still watch it!  One time we were watching it and there is one scene that is the turning point of the plot, where Rafiki, the wise-old monkey hits Simba over the head.  Simba asks him, “Whatdja do that for?!” and Rafiki says, “It doesn’t matter it’s in the past!”  Here, take a look yourself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZfGTL2PY3E

Like Simba, I was hit over the head with the message that my past can still hurt if I keep running from it, instead of learning from it.  You know what I’m talking about, those old festering wounds of rejection, unkind words, abuses, curses, offenses etc.  I rationalized to myself, “I have every right to feel the way do!”  And that’s true, nobody can dispute that.  But what good was it doing me? That hurt was doing nothing for me except holding me captive.  In Simba’s case, his perspective of the past kept him from his true destiny and identity as king.

 So I ask myself (and I ask you to do the same), what destiny is being unfulfilled by me holding on to the offenses of the past?  I am a unique, creative individual and what I have to offer cannot be fulfilled by anyone else.  If I am not fulfilling my destiny, my unique part is not being released into this world and so I am then, giving much more power to the circumstance or the person who offended me in the first place and that person or circumstance is in no way, shape or form deserves that! 

And so here is our assignment today:  Take a big breath, then say out loud, “I release the power that (a circumstance, individual, unkind word, abuse, curse, offense, whatever) has over me!   And now I am one step closer to my destiny” and then exhale and “shoo” that unwanted thing AWAY!  Start small if you must and then from day to day “shoo away” bigger offenses.  And by the way, when new offenses come, do not pick them up.  Just “shoo” them away from the get go, they don’t deserve being in your life!”

Please feel free to post your experience as a comment.  I’m sure a lot of us will learn and be encouraged from your successes. 

-Tessa L. Charles

Friday, January 25, 2013

......And I'd Like To Thank.....


 As promised, I want to express my gratitude to the male members of my “family” (related by blood or otherwise), I doubt many of them read this blog though!  In any case, as far as my brothers, well, it’s kind of complicated.  If you take the TV show Modern Family, throw in a couple of step brothers, then you’ve sort of an idea!  Anyway, I am blessed to have grown up with one of them and he and I are forever bound together by ties woven out of both heaven and hell that only he and I will ever understand.  I am so grateful to know that we are the only two people on this earth who will ever comprehend from whence our wicked, wicked humor comes, for it was only the two of us that were able to pull each other out of some sticky, bitterness by making each other laugh at the most un-humorous times. 

I am so grateful for a Dad who has never given up on me and who has forgiven as well as been forgiven much.  I am thankful for a Step-Dad who has loved my mother well.  I have the most funny, smart and understanding Uncles EVER!!  They are so keen to give advice, even when I don’t’ want it!  Haha!!!

I’m also surrounded by those “Uncles”, “Cousins”, “Nephews”, “Brothers” and “Sons” of whose blood I don’t share but who ears, hearts and wisdom are my life blood anyway.  I thank them, and they know who they are.

 I have two cousins who were born when I was a pre-teen and so had to put up with all my “mothering” (more like smothering), but who are grown men now.  I’m so proud of them.  I am grateful to them for letting me practice my “skills” on them and for relinquishing (however willingly) their positions to my two sons. 

Did I mention I have the best teens ever known to man-kind?!  If I ever did anything right in this world, it is them.  Words cannot even express……I’ll just say that they are all the proof I need that God exists. 

I just realized that this is sounding so much like an Academy Awards speech, and if I ever win one, you’ll be hearing this all over again, but I would like to end this attitude of gratitude week with my spouse as any winning actor would.  I am so grateful I found someone who accepts me for the way that I am to share this life with.  I am thankful for the legacy of our sons.  I am thankful for the honorable man that I married.

Just like I suggested we contact and thank the women in our lives, I am suggesting we do the same for the men.  I have sent texts out this week, and the response I got back was amazing.  It made me realize that I don't do this enough.  So please share your experiences about the people you’re grateful for, and the responses you got from telling them so.  We all can benefit from an attitude of gratitude.  Have a great weekend, all.

-Tessa L. Charles

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Kissin' "Cousins"


In keeping with the theme this week of an attitude of gratitude, I wanted to focus on being grateful to those closest to us; our family including those people in our lives who may not be blood related, but whom we consider family anyway (you know who you are!).

All 4 of my siblings are brothers, and I live with my 2 sons and husband as the lone female in a house of odd smells and noises.  The only female I have ever lived with (besides a couple of years of room-mates in my college dorm) was my Mom over half my life time ago.

For that reason, I’m SO GRATEFUL for the women in my life.  I have the GREATEST female cousins that I had the privilege to grow up around and who are blessedly, still the sanest voices in my head today.  All I need to do is to call or text them and they give me all the strength and/or counsel and/or humor I need to carry on.  I have an incredible Mom, and MANY very, very supportive and encouraging aunts (again, some not even blood related but who still refer to me or treat me as their “niece”). There are also those women who have come into my life through my many male relatives, an ever joyful step-mom, awesome and smart cousins-in-law, and a talented sister-n-law.   And I can’t forget my nieces!  I get to love those girls as if they were my own, but then they’re considerate enough to go live in their own homes so that I can be the only “princess” in mine.  Thanks, girls!!

I know you have women in your life that you appreciate, and I also know that you are a person whom your relatives appreciate.  So let’s spend a few moments today in honoring the women in your life by calling/emailing/texting 4 or 5 of them” just because”.  Let them know you’re thinking of them and how grateful you are to have them in your life.  Then in the next few days, contact a few more.  Trust me, you will make their day.  And who knows, you may get a call/email/text yourself! 

And don't worry, the next blog will be about those gentlemen!  Have a great day!

-Tessa L. Charles


Monday, January 21, 2013

Attitude of Gratitude

Today is the 21st day of 2013.  I want to congratulate those of us who started a New Year’s resolution and have stuck to it.  We have now officially made that resolution a habit, YAY!  For those of us who started late or who have yet to start, let’s keep at it, quitting is not an option!

I want to focus this week on an attitude of gratitude.  My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving.  I love it because it’s the only major holiday that is focused on being grateful for what we have instead of getting something or exchanging something.  Although recently, it has become the day before we start the commercial madness of “gift giving”, I have made the decision to start declaring out loud the things for which I’m thankful starting on November 1st each year in preparation for Thanksgiving day, the day I get to do one of the things I’m most passionate about:  being with my awesome family and friends.  To encourage others to think not about what they don’t have and to be grateful for what they do have, I ask at least one person a day in November what they’re thankful for. 

I know that in my own day to day, when I’m feeling down, discouraged, “complainy” (you know the word I wanna use), oppressed, stifled, all those negative feelings,  the one thing that can turn my attitude around is to start listing the things for which I’m thankful.  It’s an exercise that, admittedly, I’m reluctant to start when I’m in the moment of complaint, and at first I can only think of one or two things, but when I persist, my list of gratitude becomes longer.  That’s because negativity doesn’t stand a CHANCE in the presence of gratitude!

Let’s try something today.  When we have a quick moment today, sit down and make a list of at least 3 things for which we are most thankful.  Let’s put the list in our phone or wallet so that we have a “go to” list to start an attitude of gratitude when those negative feelings dare to come up against us.  This is our opportunity to put on our “gratitude armor” and to kill those feelings not just for us but for those around us.  What do you say?  Let’s stand up and stand together so that we can become a new generation where negativity doesn’t stand a chance in our presence!  We can do this! 

-Tessa L. Charles




Saturday, January 19, 2013

It's The Hard That Makes It Great

For those of us who started New Year’s resolutions (especially healthy ones)and have stuck with them, congratulations!  Just a few more days and those resolutions will become habits.  For those of us who have slacked off, let’s pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and start again, 2013 is NOT for quitters!!  We can do this.  For those of us who still have not started, no worries, we can start today, because it’s NEVER too late.

There have been many times where I’ve faced some things that have seemed too overwhelming to accomplish especially when in the midst of it.  I remember after having my first son, during the first few weeks I thought to myself, “What have I got myself into??? I’m NEVER going to get any sleep! I’m NEVER going to have any time to tend to my own needs!  I’m NEVER going to get this breastfeeding thing down……”

I recall the many times I’ve decided to lose weight.  I’d think, “Oh, I’m NEVER going to lose all of that!”, “I’m going to have to starve myself!” “I’m NEVER going to find enough time to exercise as much as I need to”.

The day I decided to go back to school, I cried, “I’m too old for this!”, “I’m not smart enough” “I don’t have time for this.  It’s going to take too long!!!”  Blah, blah, blah......

There were times that I quit (which explains why I had to go back to school) but the only times worth talking about are when I persevered.  What I finally realized is that all those tough times were temporary.  My son grew out of his neediness, I did lose weight, and I finally passed ALL of the math classes I needed to fulfill requirements (just this last December, I might add!!).   I know.  It’s hard. But remember the scene in the movie, A League of Their Own?  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndL7y0MIRE4 It’s the hard that makes it great. 

I know you’ve got your own inspiring stories of perseverance.  Please feel free to post yours in the comment section any time.  I want this blog to be an open forum for us to encourage each other.  Thanks, I look forward to hearing what you have to say.

-Tessa L. Charles

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Grace Growers

Isn’t it unbearable working with someone who just rubs us the wrong way?  Or living with someone who is impossible to please?  Or having to listen to a relative who’s always so negative?  We all have at least one of these types of people in our lives even at this very moment, right (it’s just a good thing WE are not like any one of them, thank heaven!)?

It’s not a coincidence that difficult people are put into our lives.  They’re our “grace growers”, people who teach us to become a better version of ourselves.  I’m gonna propose a challenge that we can start this very day:  Let’s take advantage of our grace growers by using every opportunity to react to them exactly the opposite way they expect us to!  This is taking “killing them with kindness” to a militant level!  Let’s compliment them when we feel like tearing them down.  Smile at them when they demean us.  Bring them coffee and NOT purposely spill it on them!   Be obnoxiously polite!  Let’s try being creative when that person speaks negatively by changing their words from negative to positive.  “ Oh, Aunt Jenny (chuckle, chuckle), I think what you meant to say is, that spike going through cousin Mary’s nose sure is…….shiny aaaaand …..super clean!!”

I once had a co-worker who just got on my last nerve.  One day I decided that if our working relationship was going to change, I’d have to make it happen.  So, I mustered a smile (albeit, fake), told her that I was going to get a bottled water and asked her if I could bring her one as well.  All the way back I just conjured up some “good thoughts” that I “input” on that bottled water which was in my clenched hand!  The next day, I came up with something to start up a short conversation and vowed I would make myself actually looked interested.  The next time I asked her what she was planning that coming weekend.  Day after day, it went like this……and then we became best friends.  No, not really, in fact, not at all!  BUT our working relationship did become better, and that was the whole point, right?

No, it wasn’t easy and I did have to be “fake nice” at first.  But what I learned is that by taking advantage of the opportunity grace growers provide me, I may be able to change that person, even if that changed person ends up being me.

-Tessa L. Charles

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Tag That Tongue

As I mentioned in a previous blog, I worked in the women’s fitness realm for quite some time.  I loved the opportunity to encourage women to help them become free from the mindsets of who they WEREN’T.  The mindsets were not just physical, but emotional and psychological as well.  Many times the women who joined had reached a low point in their self-esteem, and their language about themselves often reflected their exasperation.  Often, even on their first visit, I’d have to firmly set some ground rules regarding their words.  I’d look them dead in the eye and tell them that when they were in my place of business I would not allow anyone to speak unkindly towards them, including themselves.  Most women became familiar with my “policy” and also would not allow others to speak unkindly towards themselves,   I have to say, the women at that facility really are so very encouraging and loving; they are very much the epitome of grace.

I know that I’ve been blogging mostly about saying unkind things about ourselves; that was intentional.  I have learned that I need to begin to change my language towards myself first before I can do so for others, but let me set forth a challenge this New Year starting today.  When we hear a co-worker, friend, parent, child, spouse anyone we care about saying negative things about themselves, let's call them on it, tell them to stop and instead, give them something positive to say.  If they continue being destructive, we'll get in their face and tell them that just as we will not allow anyone to say anything derogatory about them, we also will not allow them to be derogatory towards themselves.  And remember, let's practice what we preach. 

We are awesome, we were made for this, and we will succeed,  I just know it!  Have a great day.

-Tessa L. Charles

Sunday, January 13, 2013

The Passion Test

This morning I had breakfast with three of my women cousins, oh, such a good time!  I LOVE spending time with my family, in fact, just recently, I found out I am most passionate about spending time with family and friends.  It may sound funny to you that I say, “I just found out…” you’d think I just would inherently know what I’m passionate about, but the truth is, I didn’t really until I took a test!

Let me back up a little.  I don’t know if it was the time in which I grew up, or it was the culture or maybe it was because I was born female, but I can’t remember a time when I was encouraged to pursue my dreams or passions.  Until recently, I didn’t even remember what they were!   What I do know is, I grew up in what I consider was a very turbulent time.  When I was very young, mothers and wives stayed home and took care of the home, husband and kids.  When I started school, so did my Mom, she went back to college.  By the time I was 8 my Mom started working full time at a hospital and by the time I was 10 or 11 the “Women’s Lib” movement was in full swing, and women were bringing home the bacon and frying it up in a pan!!!!  When I reached high school and college, women were admonished if they wanted to stay home and raise a family.

When it was time to have my own children, I knew for myself that I wanted a hand- on experience with them, and so I felt comfortable enough to make the decision to stay home with them at least until they both had reached school age.  But between being a wife, mother, chauffeur, cook, housekeeper, teacher, laundress, etc., I had found that fulfilling my own wants and needs, dreams and passions always came last (if at all!), until…….well…..until it came to the point that if anyone asked what I wanted, I didn’t have an answer because I didn’t know anymore!  There’s no one to blame, it’s just what happened.

Recently a friend of mine told me about a book called, The Passion Test, by Janet Bray Attwood and Chris Attwood.  As the book suggests, there is a test to be taken to help facilitate in finding and focusing in on one’s passions.  I have to be honest, I have not finished the entire book yet, but I did take the test and it is what helped me to set some goals which included getting this blog started.

 I know there are some of you gals out there who know what it feels like to kind of lose focus on yourself because you’re taking care of everyone else.  But let me be the one to tell you, if no one else is, your dreams and passions are valuable, they represent who you were always meant to be and I want to encourage you to reawaken those desires.  If you already know what your passion is, go for it; take baby steps if you have to.  If you don’t, you can utilize resources like the book I used or simply ask friends whom you trust and who want what’s best for you.  You can do it!   For those of you who are living your passions, I applaud you, you’re awesome, so please encourage and mentor those of us who need a nudge.  Come on, let’s become all we were meant to be…..and MORE!!!

-Tessa L. Charles

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Less Miserable


So I just saw Les Miserables, I told myself before the movie started that I would not cry…...yeah, right!  I love how every time I re-visit that story whether it be on stage, or on TV, I discover something new because there are so many themes to be learned from Les Miserables.   The theme that I wanted to bring up today was about forgiveness.  The main difference between Javert and Jean Valjean was that the former could not forgive and the latter could (I’m not going to say much more about the plot, so if you don’t know the story, I’m not going to spoil it for you).  Not only could Javert not forgive Valjean for a petty crime committed, but he could not forgive HIMSELF for his perception of “failing” which caused him such self-torment.  Valjean made a conscious decision to forgive others, as well as himself, over and over, and that allowed him to change his life, for the better.

We’ve heard it said that forgiveness is powerful, but what I wanted to emphasize today, is that self forgiveness, in my opinion, is even more powerful.  There are a lot of things I’ve had to forgive myself for, but let me give you one silly example.

When I was about 12 years old, I had gotten a pair of trendy sandals and when I wore them for the first time my Dad said something derogatory about how my feet looked in them.  I don’t think he said it to hurt my feelings, and honestly, I think he thought I would have a snappy comeback as was my custom.  But it doesn’t matter, what does matter is that my feelings were hurt and I walked away crying.  What’s funny is that even while I was crying, I knew I was making a bigger deal out of what he said than what he meant, but in retrospect, I think my pre-pubescent hormones were raging!  In any case, after a short while (because I knew it was ridiculous) I forgot about the whole situation.  However, from that day on I had ACCEPTED the “fact” that I had ugly feet!  It wasn’t until many years later when I remembered what my Dad said that I confronted him about it.  He promptly apologized but what he admitted next astounded me.  He said, “I don’t remember saying that.  I don’t even remember ever thinking that.”  I realized he hadn’t meant it and yet all those years I just accepted that I had terribly ugly, deformed, Fred Flintstone feet!

Now, understand, my Dad and I have worked out our issues, and I really have learned that blame, shame, regret and guilt are all worthless.   I also learned from that situation, that I had to forgive myself for accepting the lie.  As soon as I did, I was released and able to FULLY forgive my Dad as well, which in turn, released him from feeling guilty about saying what he did to me.  You see how that works? 

Has someone said something about you that has kept you in shackles?  Don’t hesitate, forgive them, it doesn’t matter whether you think they deserve it or not, do it for you.  Then don’t stop there, remember to promptly forgive yourself.  Like Valjean, you’ll be able to move on to a richer, more productive life; a life you deserve; a life much “less miserable”.

-Tessa L. Charles

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Just The Way You Are


Here we are, a little more than a week into the New Year and if you’ve made some New Year’s resolutions, perhaps some of the determination has waned since day one.  Or perhaps you didn’t get started right away and now you may feel it’s too late.  First, remember it takes 21 days to start a new habit, so if you started on the 1st, you’re more than 1/3 of the way through!  Good for you!!!  You can do it!  Second, if you haven’t started yet, it’s not too late….it’s NEVER too late!

Today I’d like to share something that took place a couple of years back, just a quick little moment of a normal day that has made a big impact on my life.  My oldest son, the one who was in the car the day we were coming home from a conference (refer to previous blog), came home from a run one day.  Now, teenage boys are not known for their sensitivity, and while my boys are probably more thoughtful than most, I really couldn’t help but be surprised and therefore very much treasure this encounter.  Anyway, he told me that on his way home, he heard a new song on the radio called, Just The Way You Are, by a new artist named, Bruno Mars http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjhCEhWiKXk.  He said he believed that song was being sung over me, and then he pulled the song up on YouTube and played it for me.   I tell you, every time I hear that song, I can’t help but get misty eyed.

You too, have a song that is being sung over you, your “signature” song you may say.  If you already know what that song is, take a moment today, put your feet up, close your eyes and just luxuriate in that song, remind yourself who you are and then live accordingly.  If you don’t know what your song is yet, keep your ears open, in the next few days or weeks I know you’ll find it. You’ll recognize it because you’ll probably have a physical reaction to it, and/or it’ll just “speak” to you, for some reason,  setting you free from who you AREN’T.    In the meantime, you may borrow mine and know that you are beautiful, just the way you are!

-Tessa L. Charles

Sunday, January 6, 2013

T-i-i-i-i-me Is On My Side, Yes It Is


A few years ago, I went to a conference where a woman named, Christa Black was featured as a songwriter.  Christa sang a song she wrote called, “God Loves Ugly” (Jordin Sparks subsequently recorded this song as well) and there was not a dry female eye in the auditorium, it struck such a strong chord in all of us.  I suppose Christa got that reaction everywhere she went because by the next year’s conference, Christa had authored a book by the same name, which I bought and read.
 In her book Christa talks about her struggles with poor self-esteem issues which manifested itself mainly through an eating disorder.  Included in the book are exercises to help the reader become free from any lies holding one in bondage by keeping a person from becoming all that he/she was meant to be.  She inspires me!
Anyway, after that second conference, my oldest son and one of his best friends and I were on our drive home and they mentioned that they hadn’t understood the reaction to Christa’s song.  I asked them if they had ever felt ugly or fat or even remotely unattractive in any way or if they ever compared themselves to other friends, models or actors.  The answer was, “Only sometimes, but then I get over it”.
 It was then that I realized that most young men have never tortured themselves about their looks the way young girls, or women do.  Immediately I wondered how much TIME I could’ve saved myself by just not obsessing about the way I look!  I probably could’ve earned myself three Ph.D’s with all the time that I wasted!!! 
I know it was an eye opening conversation for the young men too because after I explained to them why girls/women act the way they do and why they feel so insecure they kept saying things like: “Oh!  That’s why they do that!”
Ladies, I propose we use our time for more useful things than obsessing about our looks.  So let’s keep looking in that mirror and telling ourselves how beautiful we are, concentrate on being the best we can be and then spend all that new found time becoming even BETTER!!!

I've included a link to Christa Black as well as the audio to "God Loves Ugly":

Friday, January 4, 2013

Ain't No Mountain High Enough


So I picked my photo, congrats to me – haha!  I chose this particular photo because it reminds me of a day that I felt surprisingly POWERFUL and VICTORIOUS.  I’m not a very “outdoorsy” person, I can be fairly athletic and somewhat coordinated, but I don’t really enjoy participating in sports.  I’m not fast, athletically strategic, and well…….I’ll be honest, I don’t tolerate discomfort well.  However, I can be competitive and more specifically, self-competitive.

On the morning of this photo, I and a bunch classmates (of all ages) in a summer ministry class were challenged, rather, assigned to climb a mountain to push our limits and get out of our “comfort zone”.  Surprisingly, my first gut reaction was to “go for it”……..until…..I got to the foot of the steep mountain and then I had second thoughts!  Being one of the more “middle-aged” participants I just envisioned myself failing at this task, passing out and having to be carried off the mountain – embarrassing!  But that self-competitive mode kicked in and I made the decision that I was NOT going to give into the fear of failure, not that morning!!  So I paired myself with my friend, who herself, is super competitive, and  because looking at the top of the mountain was overwhelming, I purposed myself to keep my head down and just take down that mountain step by step. 

Did I stop a couple of times to catch my breath?  Yup!  Did my legs burn and feel like rubber?  Surprisingly, no!  You see, here is the secret I learned that day:  I AM STRONGER THAN I THINK I AM.  I  marched to my own pace and I made it to the top.  I made it to the top just after my teenage classmates!!!  I was SO proud of myself!!  In fact, every single one of my classmates made it to the top, and it was an awesome exercise for us because it changed our view about ourselves FOREVER!

Today, I know there is something that you’ve been afraid to start, but don’t look at the top of your mountain.  Keep your head down, take it step by step, pause to take a breather when you need it and CONQUER that mountain!  YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE! 

-Tessa L. Charles

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Because I'm Worth It!


Ok.  My very first blog….ExCiTiNg!!!!! 
When trying to decide what I want to write about first, I am confronted right away with the first lie I want to KILL.  I don’t know if you’ve noticed, and I hope you haven’t, but I don’t have a picture for my profile page for the “About Me” part of this blog.  I don’t have many pictures of myself and I know I’m not the only one.
When I used to work at the women’s fitness facility, we would assign a login tag for every new client , and on their first workout we would ask to take their picture so that their login page wouldn’t look like….well…. wouldn’t look like how my profile page looks like now!  Without exception, each woman would balk.  They’d say things like, “Oh! Not today, I look horrible!” or “No, I’m too fat” or “No, it’s ok, I don’t want to look at myself every time I log in”, “My hair’s awful”, “I’m so ugly without my make-up on”…..on and on.  They’d say things about themselves that they would NEVER, EVER say to or about anyone else.  We can be so cruel to ourselves!  I’m not going to say I don’t understand it, because I catch myself doing it too. 
It is a lie to think that we are not worth beholding!  A big, fat, ugly no-good LIE!  We may be able to pinpoint where that seedling of a lie started, how it germinated and took root or we may not.  I’m here to say it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter because no matter how it started, we accepted that lie and are living accordingly.
Well, I’m here to say we have the power to KILL that lie.  When that lie is killed we can feel worthy to accept the good things that are just waiting to come into our lives.  When that lie is killed we can teach others that they are worthy to accept the good things that are just waiting to come for them!
So let’s try something.  The next time you are about to put on your make-up and/or get ready for the day, look at yourself in the mirror for a minute and tell yourself you’re beautiful, not just because you want the good things, not because you want to “psych” yourself out. Do it because it’s true.  Do it until you believe it and then, pass it on.
And that my friends, is our first dailyTLC!  See you next time…….WITH a picture in my profile! 

-Tessa L. Charles