Growing up in Southern California I've been used to living in a hustle and bustle kind of environment. Since I was younger I remember my days consisting of waking up early, going to school, then coming home to start my homework or a lesson of some kind. Whether is was baton class, hula lessons, piano lessons, or some other kind of lesson, it was something. All this while still fitting in all of our meals and learning all the values and morals that my parents taught us daily. As I got older my days didn't get any simpler. The days still felt too short, from morning classes, night classes, to working full time, running errands, while still trying to fit in fun time with friends and family. It got so exhausting, I didn't even have time to process how tired I was.
When I went to work in Italy back in 2010, I realized how essential taking breaks were. Because I came from a life in Southern California, I couldn't imagine taking a break in the middle of the day to do nothing but eat lunch, rest and relax. Most of the people I've met while in Italy are such hard workers and take pride in doing good, going to work, and even having a job to begin with. But I realized from them how important it is to take a break. I know not ALL places close down all over Italy, but at least from what I have experienced in the smaller towns and cities, maybe less than a handful of places stay open and everyone actually leaves to take a break. For different establishments the times may vary, but for the most part everything is closed between 1pm to about 3pm; this includes restaurants, cafés, banks, grocery stores, and pretty much every other business. This means during these times, you go home to your family, have lunch, rest, relax, play, have family time, etc.. Maybe you might go to that one café that is open, to sit, relax, have an espresso and just rest, but you didn't use your break time to keep working, to run errands or as time to travel to your next chore.
Living in Italy this time with my husband, I absolutely LOVED this time of the day. I loved the feeling that I got every time he came home. Unless he had to work in a different city a little farther away, we got to have lunch together and have our time together between all the distractions of life. And those times he couldn't come home I knew I didn't have to think about running errands or anything. I think that even if I was by myself, the atmosphere changed knowing that I'm deserving of this time to rest, play and relax.
I really encourage you to take a break in the middle of your day. Take some time to really eat and enjoy your lunch, rest, relax, play, etc., anything to take you away and distract you from what you're doing or what you feel you need to get done. It can really set the tone of how the rest of your day goes. I know I can choose to rush through lunch or work through those hours to get out faster, but try actually taking a break during your break times, all work and distractions left behind; I think it will make a difference on the rest of your day. I know sometimes it doesn't feel like there is enough hours in a day to do this without being stressed out, or worrying that you didn't get everything done, but there is enough time if you give yourself that time.
Try it out, even if it isn't every day...but make a conscious effort to take a real break in your day, we all need it.
-Rubi Anne Dijamco Agostini
Friday, August 23, 2013
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Deal With It!
After many months of ignoring the pain and swelling of ingrown toenails, my youngest finally relented to have me take him to get a pedicure a few days ago. I purposely took him at a time when the salon was going to be the least busy in order for him to receive an adequate amount of attention from the technician.
And so as the technician began, she had to firmly hold the part of his toe that was most sensitive and infected before she began excising the offending toenail. I will not get graphic, but it was not a pretty process. Suffice it to say, there was a good amount of teeth clenching, perspiration and stifled groans going on……and that just was ME, so you can imagine what HE was going through!
It was obvious the technician was not comfortable causing my son so much pain, but to her credit, she knew that if she didn’t perform a thorough job, it would cause even more trouble for her client in the long run, so she kept at it until she was through. After over 30 minutes, everyone breathed a sigh of relief when she had finished. And though he was exhausted and quite sore, my son actually hugged the technician because he immediately felt the relief from what was causing the pain. Before we left, they reminded him that he must come in once a month for maintenance so his toes would not get that bad ever again.
This episode was an ugly, painful reminder to me of the issues in my life that cause me pain and when I ignore the symptoms too long I become chronically infected and intolerable. To deal with the issue sometimes requires someone else’s expertise and/or insight to help locate and excise it. Yes, it is painful and sensitive to the touch at first, but if the source of the pain is not completely eradicated it will cause even more trouble for me. After the process is completed, I may be left exhausted and sore to the touch, but I can be assured that I will immediately feel the relief of the root of the issue being gone. I must remember, however, without frequent maintenance, the issue may come back.
I am no different than anyone else. I sometimes have a fear of pain. I don’t always like facing my “issues”. But when I have been brave enough to do so, I have very seldom, if ever, regretted it.
Today, I bless each of us with the courage to face our issues and the strength and persistence to deal with the pain to fully excise it before we become immobile. Be freed! Then become the “technician” in that area to free someone else!
Please feel free to leave a comment and if for some reason you’re finding yourself unable to leave a message in the box below, just email your comment to dailytlc@gmail.com and I’ll post your comment myself. Thanks!
-Tessa L. Charles
And so as the technician began, she had to firmly hold the part of his toe that was most sensitive and infected before she began excising the offending toenail. I will not get graphic, but it was not a pretty process. Suffice it to say, there was a good amount of teeth clenching, perspiration and stifled groans going on……and that just was ME, so you can imagine what HE was going through!
It was obvious the technician was not comfortable causing my son so much pain, but to her credit, she knew that if she didn’t perform a thorough job, it would cause even more trouble for her client in the long run, so she kept at it until she was through. After over 30 minutes, everyone breathed a sigh of relief when she had finished. And though he was exhausted and quite sore, my son actually hugged the technician because he immediately felt the relief from what was causing the pain. Before we left, they reminded him that he must come in once a month for maintenance so his toes would not get that bad ever again.
This episode was an ugly, painful reminder to me of the issues in my life that cause me pain and when I ignore the symptoms too long I become chronically infected and intolerable. To deal with the issue sometimes requires someone else’s expertise and/or insight to help locate and excise it. Yes, it is painful and sensitive to the touch at first, but if the source of the pain is not completely eradicated it will cause even more trouble for me. After the process is completed, I may be left exhausted and sore to the touch, but I can be assured that I will immediately feel the relief of the root of the issue being gone. I must remember, however, without frequent maintenance, the issue may come back.
I am no different than anyone else. I sometimes have a fear of pain. I don’t always like facing my “issues”. But when I have been brave enough to do so, I have very seldom, if ever, regretted it.
Today, I bless each of us with the courage to face our issues and the strength and persistence to deal with the pain to fully excise it before we become immobile. Be freed! Then become the “technician” in that area to free someone else!
Please feel free to leave a comment and if for some reason you’re finding yourself unable to leave a message in the box below, just email your comment to dailytlc@gmail.com and I’ll post your comment myself. Thanks!
-Tessa L. Charles
Friday, August 16, 2013
I LOVE Rush Hour Traffic
While I was in Italy the past 3 months, I didnt drive at all. The public transportation over there is so convenient. We were able to walk, take the bus or ride the train everywhere, it was so humbling and relaxing. Now being back to Southern California for a little over a week now, I barely made my way back behind the wheel 2 days ago. Today I picked up my niece and goddaughter and headed to help my cousin move. As we hit traffic, my 7 year old goddaughter started explaining how she doesn't like traffic and that she wants to "get there already". This took me back about 4 years ago when I started to love getting stuck in rush hour traffic.
About four years ago is when I finally decided what career I wanted to go into, I got so excited and motivated I couldn't wait to graduate and finally live my dream. When I started my core classes, I was going to college full time, working just about full time, going to ministry school, involved in church activities about 4 days a week or more, including band practice, studying, working on presentations and doing homework every chance I got, while still trying to spend time with my friends and family. During this time I spread myself so thin I barely had time for myself. Just finding some "me time" to relax or even time to do nothing was close to impossible. My day consisted of rushing from one thing to the next, and getting stressed out while stuck in traffic trying to get there. Then one day in traffic as I was leaving work to get to my night class, it hit me...THIS is MY time!
From then on I learned to LOVE being stuck in traffic because that was the time I had to myself. I was able to relax, listen to music, pray, sing, think, etc.. This was the time I let all the craziness of my life take a back seat and enjoy the solitude, no deadlines and no distractions.
I know this grown up life comes and goes, we rush from one thing to the next, we are constantly in search of something better and greater, this life comes with so many responsibilities, we take on different roles and different levels of stress that we just can't control, but I know that there are pockets in our days that we can take advantage of. Take advantage of those times that you can enjoy and have "me time," even if it happens to be when you're stuck in traffic for 2 hours, or maybe when you have to stop to fold a pile of laundry, or do a sink of dishes, etc. Try looking at these things in a different way where you can enjoy that time to yourself, relax and "do you."
Enjoy!
-Rubi Anne Dijamco Agostini
About four years ago is when I finally decided what career I wanted to go into, I got so excited and motivated I couldn't wait to graduate and finally live my dream. When I started my core classes, I was going to college full time, working just about full time, going to ministry school, involved in church activities about 4 days a week or more, including band practice, studying, working on presentations and doing homework every chance I got, while still trying to spend time with my friends and family. During this time I spread myself so thin I barely had time for myself. Just finding some "me time" to relax or even time to do nothing was close to impossible. My day consisted of rushing from one thing to the next, and getting stressed out while stuck in traffic trying to get there. Then one day in traffic as I was leaving work to get to my night class, it hit me...THIS is MY time!
From then on I learned to LOVE being stuck in traffic because that was the time I had to myself. I was able to relax, listen to music, pray, sing, think, etc.. This was the time I let all the craziness of my life take a back seat and enjoy the solitude, no deadlines and no distractions.
I know this grown up life comes and goes, we rush from one thing to the next, we are constantly in search of something better and greater, this life comes with so many responsibilities, we take on different roles and different levels of stress that we just can't control, but I know that there are pockets in our days that we can take advantage of. Take advantage of those times that you can enjoy and have "me time," even if it happens to be when you're stuck in traffic for 2 hours, or maybe when you have to stop to fold a pile of laundry, or do a sink of dishes, etc. Try looking at these things in a different way where you can enjoy that time to yourself, relax and "do you."
Enjoy!
-Rubi Anne Dijamco Agostini
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Heartstrings
Last May, my high school classmates and I enjoyed a reunion and 4 of us ladies who were helping out with the planning decided to go on a weekend trip to reconnect. This last weekend was that weekend and I have to say, it was good to be able to laugh, cry, relax, laugh, shop, eat and laugh some more with a group of gals, one I’ve known since pre-school, the other two since grade school. We all went to the same schools until our 2nd year of college where our paths diverged, but we went to each other’s weddings, baby showers and kid’s birthday parties. Most of us have been touched by divorce and illness, and all of us are blessed enough to have our parents still with us.
We marveled at the things that have not changed (one of us still has a relentless sweet tooth) as well as the things that have (we could open a mini-pharmacy between us as well as an optometry practice!). We teased each other’s foibles, laughed at each other’s jokes, cried with each other’s heartaches, encouraged each other’s strengths, downplayed each other’s faults and prayed for each other’s concerns.
I may not have a lot of money, but I am the richest woman I know! I have been blessed with an amazing family of friends. I know unequivocally that the people that have been favored to me throughout my life are the people who always have my back, I hope they know that I have theirs as well.
My simple message today is to encourage us to make serious efforts to keep in touch with the friends that we have been blessed with. It’s so very easy to let friendships fall to the wayside especially with those who are not easily within our daily circles, but at the same time, social media has made it easier so our excuses are becoming less acceptable.
People are placed in our lives for a reason; in other words, our friends are not accidental. I’m not saying that every person we’ve been friends with is a good influence, but sometimes a bad influence can help us identify some weakness in ourselves to help us recognize and to overcome.
In the next few weeks, I challenge each one of us to make a concerted effort to get in touch and reach out to our friends. Drop a line, call, text, email, Face Book, Tweet whatever, just make an effort. Strengthen those heartstrings that keep us all from living a detached, routine, robotic life. Let’s spend some time enjoying the bounty of our riches.
-Tessa L. Charles
We marveled at the things that have not changed (one of us still has a relentless sweet tooth) as well as the things that have (we could open a mini-pharmacy between us as well as an optometry practice!). We teased each other’s foibles, laughed at each other’s jokes, cried with each other’s heartaches, encouraged each other’s strengths, downplayed each other’s faults and prayed for each other’s concerns.
I may not have a lot of money, but I am the richest woman I know! I have been blessed with an amazing family of friends. I know unequivocally that the people that have been favored to me throughout my life are the people who always have my back, I hope they know that I have theirs as well.
My simple message today is to encourage us to make serious efforts to keep in touch with the friends that we have been blessed with. It’s so very easy to let friendships fall to the wayside especially with those who are not easily within our daily circles, but at the same time, social media has made it easier so our excuses are becoming less acceptable.
People are placed in our lives for a reason; in other words, our friends are not accidental. I’m not saying that every person we’ve been friends with is a good influence, but sometimes a bad influence can help us identify some weakness in ourselves to help us recognize and to overcome.
In the next few weeks, I challenge each one of us to make a concerted effort to get in touch and reach out to our friends. Drop a line, call, text, email, Face Book, Tweet whatever, just make an effort. Strengthen those heartstrings that keep us all from living a detached, routine, robotic life. Let’s spend some time enjoying the bounty of our riches.
-Tessa L. Charles
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Under the Influence
I've grown up to be the person I am today because of the people that surround me. Sometimes you think that you're your own person, an individual who makes decisions all on your own, without realizing that you are influenced by those around you, but are you?
Maybe when I was younger I wasn't ALWAYS surrounding myself with the best influences, but I learned and feel that I always made the conscious effort to choose my direction after that. I've realized how much strength it takes to be your own person, but also realized that it is THAT much simpler if you surround yourself with people that can help you get there.
If you're a family person who knows you want to start your own family some day, surround yourself with healthy families, people who are great parents who can help teach you great values and morals; if you want to find success in your career, surround yourself with people who have already done so and learn from their example and dedication; if you want to build your faith and spirituality, surround yourself with people who are strong in their faith, who can teach you how to get through this world with people who don't understand.
You see, surrounding yourself with these people initially and discovering who you are and who you want to be, and making this decision isn't separating yourself from the rest who aren't in compliance with your life, it's more like building your strength for those times when you DO have to go out on your own, and you don't have a choice of who is around you anymore. Let yourself be positively influenced by the people who have your very best interest at heart, by people who will support you whether your ideas and dreams are ridiculous and by people who will be truly honest with you.
We are constantly under the influence of this world, and those that surround us pull on our strings, but WE make the decisions in our lives and decide which strings we want to pull back on.
-Rubi Anne Dijamco-Agostini
Maybe when I was younger I wasn't ALWAYS surrounding myself with the best influences, but I learned and feel that I always made the conscious effort to choose my direction after that. I've realized how much strength it takes to be your own person, but also realized that it is THAT much simpler if you surround yourself with people that can help you get there.
If you're a family person who knows you want to start your own family some day, surround yourself with healthy families, people who are great parents who can help teach you great values and morals; if you want to find success in your career, surround yourself with people who have already done so and learn from their example and dedication; if you want to build your faith and spirituality, surround yourself with people who are strong in their faith, who can teach you how to get through this world with people who don't understand.
You see, surrounding yourself with these people initially and discovering who you are and who you want to be, and making this decision isn't separating yourself from the rest who aren't in compliance with your life, it's more like building your strength for those times when you DO have to go out on your own, and you don't have a choice of who is around you anymore. Let yourself be positively influenced by the people who have your very best interest at heart, by people who will support you whether your ideas and dreams are ridiculous and by people who will be truly honest with you.
We are constantly under the influence of this world, and those that surround us pull on our strings, but WE make the decisions in our lives and decide which strings we want to pull back on.
-Rubi Anne Dijamco-Agostini
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Definitely Maybe
I’m in the middle of reading an e-book entitled, The Book of Maybe by Allison N. Carmen and it has reminded me of the power of that word, MAYBE, and how if I can learn to live my life with all the possibilities that Maybe has to offer, I can significantly reduce the stress of fear and worry in my life. It is something that I’ve been practicing (and by “practicing” I mean that I often forget and revert to stressing out but I am catching myself earlier and earlier in a situation and trying to take captive my thoughts and change my perspsective).
First, let me state that I have considered myself a “planner” type person, meaning, I liked being prepared and having a “game plan”. I have often not been fond of “spur of the moment” or risk. Now, there is nothing wrong with being prepared, but this mindset often left me inflexible and in fear of spontaneity and stressed out when things didn’t go as planned, which as we know, is often! Instead of thinking of a “glitch” as an opportunity, I would often take the mishap personally and think that the universe had a vendetta out for me.
In the past few years I have been striving to live in the realm of Maybe, which is simply changing my perspective on the day to day circumstances that happen in my life. Allison N. Carmen says it this way, “None of us know for sure what life will bring. What Maybe gives us is the chance to embrace the opportunities uncertainty brings with it and to live each day we do have to its very fullest.
So here’s a hypothetical scenario: One day, I get let go from a job. I can think of it as horrible and wonder how I and my family are going to get by; or maybe…….I can think of it as an opportunity to look for the job that fuels my passion. I look for and find a position and get hired at a company that I’m passionate about, but I have little to no experience in that field. I can be scared to death, anxious or maybe…...I can be excited. On the first week of my new job I make many mistakes, get reprimanded for taking too much time doing a simple task, and have no one to eat lunch with. I can quit, whine and complain and/or beat myself up or maybe……I can learn from my mistakes, ask for help, and make new friends. After a month or so, I realize a co-worker and I just don’t get along. I can bad mouth, undermine, pick a fight or ignore him/her or maybe……I can take an opportunity to practice to forgive, have mercy, grace and honor and just be held accountable to my own actions.
The first example of the Maybe life in the e-book is a story about a farmer whose horse runs away. His neighbor says, “You have the worst luck!” and the farmer replies, “Maybe”. That horse comes back a few days later with 5 mares in tow and the neighbor says to the farmer, “You have the best luck!” and the farmer replies, “Maybe”. The next day the farmer’s son is riding one of the mares and falls off and breaks his leg. The neighbor says, “Oh, you have the worst luck!” and the farmer says, “Maybe”. Within that week, the army comes to take all able men to war, but since the farmer’s son has a broken leg, they leave him home. And the neighbor says, “Man! You have the best luck!” and the farmer says, “Maybe”.
I encourage you (and myself) to live from this moment forth a Maybe life. And if someone comes to you lamenting about the circumstances in their life, tactfully introduce the Maybe lifestyle to them as well. Let’s change our perspective and just say, “Maybe, Baby”.
-Tessa L. Charles
First, let me state that I have considered myself a “planner” type person, meaning, I liked being prepared and having a “game plan”. I have often not been fond of “spur of the moment” or risk. Now, there is nothing wrong with being prepared, but this mindset often left me inflexible and in fear of spontaneity and stressed out when things didn’t go as planned, which as we know, is often! Instead of thinking of a “glitch” as an opportunity, I would often take the mishap personally and think that the universe had a vendetta out for me.
In the past few years I have been striving to live in the realm of Maybe, which is simply changing my perspective on the day to day circumstances that happen in my life. Allison N. Carmen says it this way, “None of us know for sure what life will bring. What Maybe gives us is the chance to embrace the opportunities uncertainty brings with it and to live each day we do have to its very fullest.
So here’s a hypothetical scenario: One day, I get let go from a job. I can think of it as horrible and wonder how I and my family are going to get by; or maybe…….I can think of it as an opportunity to look for the job that fuels my passion. I look for and find a position and get hired at a company that I’m passionate about, but I have little to no experience in that field. I can be scared to death, anxious or maybe…...I can be excited. On the first week of my new job I make many mistakes, get reprimanded for taking too much time doing a simple task, and have no one to eat lunch with. I can quit, whine and complain and/or beat myself up or maybe……I can learn from my mistakes, ask for help, and make new friends. After a month or so, I realize a co-worker and I just don’t get along. I can bad mouth, undermine, pick a fight or ignore him/her or maybe……I can take an opportunity to practice to forgive, have mercy, grace and honor and just be held accountable to my own actions.
The first example of the Maybe life in the e-book is a story about a farmer whose horse runs away. His neighbor says, “You have the worst luck!” and the farmer replies, “Maybe”. That horse comes back a few days later with 5 mares in tow and the neighbor says to the farmer, “You have the best luck!” and the farmer replies, “Maybe”. The next day the farmer’s son is riding one of the mares and falls off and breaks his leg. The neighbor says, “Oh, you have the worst luck!” and the farmer says, “Maybe”. Within that week, the army comes to take all able men to war, but since the farmer’s son has a broken leg, they leave him home. And the neighbor says, “Man! You have the best luck!” and the farmer says, “Maybe”.
I encourage you (and myself) to live from this moment forth a Maybe life. And if someone comes to you lamenting about the circumstances in their life, tactfully introduce the Maybe lifestyle to them as well. Let’s change our perspective and just say, “Maybe, Baby”.
-Tessa L. Charles
Friday, August 2, 2013
Life's a Beach
One early morning last week, I went for a walk on the beach. There were only a few surfers in the water, but for the most part, the beach was empty. It was so beautiful and peaceful and with each step, a deep serenity began to replace the usual “to do” list normally foremost in my mind.
Realizing that my footprints were the first on the beach that morning, a revelation about the landscape began to take form in my thoughts. By sunset of the previous day, the beach had evidence of many footprints in the sand; shallow pits dug by little hands here and there; forgotten toys and random bits of trash littered its surface. But by morning, the tide had washed away all evidence of the previous day’s use and once again, the beach was new and ready for its day’s inhabitants.
How like the beach, our lives are. Each day has its footprints made by friends, family, and sometimes careless users. Each day has its pits; its amusements; its bits of litter, but by the next morning, we are allowed to start anew.
You may be thinking, “Yeah, sure. That’s a nice thought, but what about all the rough stuff that I still have to deal with from the days before? I still have those bills due. I still have my kids to worry about. I still have…….”
I have posted a picture from my walk. It shows the image of the beach that morning. You will notice all the pebbles/rocks still left on the beach from the days/weeks/months/years before, much like the “rough stuff” in our lives, that doesn’t get “washed away” each day. However, as you know, the sand and the surf work together with every wave break to help soften and smooth each jagged rock until after sometime the rock becomes a smooth pebble. Soon that pebble becomes smaller and smaller and the parts that wear away actually become part of the landscape. In fact, the daily wearing away actually helps to replenish the beach and add to its content and beauty!
I like to think that like those rocks, our problems, with time, also become less prominent and painful and soon wear away to actually help to contribute to the beautiful landscape of our lives. That is, if we allow for the irritation of the sand to rub up against the problem and the occasional “beating up” of the waves to help cleanse it; meaning, we’ve got to position the problem in a place where it’s going to be dealt with and that’s not always going to be comfortable; but the closer the rocks are to the water, the faster they get worn away. You can probably guess what that means.
Today, I bless you with courage and tenacity and with the vision of hope that helps you to see that sometimes, problems can be the opportunity to add to the richness and beauty of the landscape of the beach that is your life.
Realizing that my footprints were the first on the beach that morning, a revelation about the landscape began to take form in my thoughts. By sunset of the previous day, the beach had evidence of many footprints in the sand; shallow pits dug by little hands here and there; forgotten toys and random bits of trash littered its surface. But by morning, the tide had washed away all evidence of the previous day’s use and once again, the beach was new and ready for its day’s inhabitants.
How like the beach, our lives are. Each day has its footprints made by friends, family, and sometimes careless users. Each day has its pits; its amusements; its bits of litter, but by the next morning, we are allowed to start anew.
You may be thinking, “Yeah, sure. That’s a nice thought, but what about all the rough stuff that I still have to deal with from the days before? I still have those bills due. I still have my kids to worry about. I still have…….”
I have posted a picture from my walk. It shows the image of the beach that morning. You will notice all the pebbles/rocks still left on the beach from the days/weeks/months/years before, much like the “rough stuff” in our lives, that doesn’t get “washed away” each day. However, as you know, the sand and the surf work together with every wave break to help soften and smooth each jagged rock until after sometime the rock becomes a smooth pebble. Soon that pebble becomes smaller and smaller and the parts that wear away actually become part of the landscape. In fact, the daily wearing away actually helps to replenish the beach and add to its content and beauty!
I like to think that like those rocks, our problems, with time, also become less prominent and painful and soon wear away to actually help to contribute to the beautiful landscape of our lives. That is, if we allow for the irritation of the sand to rub up against the problem and the occasional “beating up” of the waves to help cleanse it; meaning, we’ve got to position the problem in a place where it’s going to be dealt with and that’s not always going to be comfortable; but the closer the rocks are to the water, the faster they get worn away. You can probably guess what that means.
Today, I bless you with courage and tenacity and with the vision of hope that helps you to see that sometimes, problems can be the opportunity to add to the richness and beauty of the landscape of the beach that is your life.
-Tessa L. Charles
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