Thursday, March 21, 2013

Not So Great Expectations

I hope you like the new look of the blog.  I thought I’d spruce it up for spring.  Also, good news…I learned how to fix the problem of leaving comments on the bottom of this blog; I know, it’s about time!  Anyway, now it’s possible for anyone to leave a comment, Google account or not.  So have at it!
I saw this great quote today: In life, don’t expect anything from anyone, because expectation, when not fulfilled, gives you pain.  When you get something without expecting it, it gives you pleasure.
It is true, that when our expectations are not fulfilled, we are disappointed.  Disappointment and regret are insidious worms that eat away at the fabric of our lives.  When I was quite young, I developed a habit that when someone disappointed me by not keeping their promise, or coming through for me,  I would make a vow to myself  to never fully trust that person again.  That way, the next time they disappointed me, I wouldn’t be surprised or more importantly hurt.  Furthermore, I would think to myself, “Fine, you didn’t come through for me, I’ll do it myself!”  I still catch myself thinking that from time to time.  If you recall, almost 3 weeks ago I went hiking by myself because neither one of my sons wanted to come with me.  I ended up having a close encounter with a snake and then later on in the hike, falling and scraping my knee.  My knee is still bruised and tender!
Mind you, that “I’ll-do-it-myself” attitude made me a more independent kid, and lately, a less fearful adult, and that’s not all bad.  However, what would, and has often provoked that attitude would be some expectation on my part and then the ensuing disappointment if the other person did not come through.  You see, the expectation was my fault, because I placed that expectation on another person.   In reality, they did not disappoint me, I did! 
Though expectancy still has an element of anticipation, it is different from expectation because it also has the elements of hope and trust which is independent of another person or circumstance.  I like to think of the difference of those two terms when I think of when I found out I was pregnant.  I had no expectation from the person within me, but I did have hope or some kind of expectancy because I knew he was perfect, no matter how he turned out.  Perhaps that’s why we say a woman is “expecting”!
Since I was unable to publish this blog yesterday, if I were you, I would be expecting to get another one tomorrow.  Haha!  See how I did that?  Have a great evening and see you tomorrow!

-Tessa L. Charles

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