However, the flip flops I want to talk about today have nothing to do with what’s in my attic at the moment. I want to talk about a “flip flop” of mindset. After the last blog, I realized I want to be a little more specific and/or practical about how we can go about exchanging (flip flopping) a negative mindset for a positive one.
One of the most intentional ways to do this is what I mentioned in a previous blog, Baggage vs. Luggage. Make a list of negative things that have been said over us (curses, predictions, diagnosis etc.) or that we think about ourselves (I’m not smart, I’m not pretty, I’m too fat, I’ll probably get diabetes because it’s in my genes…..) and then flip flop them for the positive (I AM wise, I AM beautiful, I AM healthy….).
Another way we can “flip flop” is by changing our words about others. Instead of saying to our loved ones, “You’re always so messy”, you can say, “Remember, when you cleaned your room? I really appreciate it when you’re responsible for yourself”. Flip flop “You never keep your word” to “You’re going to finish painting the house? Oh, I know you will, you’re always a man of your word”. Exchange, “You’re gonna make yourself sick eating like that” for “I know you can make a healthier choice”. Call out who they are when they make a mistake, “We are the Smiths, we are honest, and we don’t take things that do not belong to us” or a simple, “That’s not who you are”. Those words may sound negative, but they are actually reminding our loved one of who they are and that their actions are not reflecting their true identity.
Flip flop a circumstance. Instead of thinking of a job loss as the end of the world, think of it as an opportunity to pursue a passion. Exchange thinking it’s the end of the world when someone puts a dent in your new car for being glad that you don’t have to worry about YOU being the first person who put a dent in your car! So now the next time you get a dent it won’t be such a big deal!
I remember my young niece posting in Face Book a while back, “Today is the WORST day of my life!!!” After rolling my eyes, I decided to not to post, “What do you know? You’re so young, you’ll face worse, TRUST ME!” and instead posted, “Great! You’re so SMART getting that day behind you while you’re so young. Now the rest of your life will be a piece of cake!” Ok, I admit, I was being a little sarcastic but mostly I was trying to get her to change her view of her circumstance, and honestly, I really try to keep check of myself by making sure to change my perspective of the negative. I learned that from my friend whom I used to sarcastically, but affectionately call the “Word Police”! I swear to you, if you make policing your words a habit, negative mindsets and words will start hurting your heart and ears and you’ll be moved to becoming more adept at flip flopping that negativity. It takes some practice, but listen closely, you can do it!
Have a great weekend! Be an atmosphere changer! Be the thermostat not the thermometer!
-Tessa L. Charles
-Tessa L. Charles