…..had someone compliment you and instead of accepting the compliment or simply saying, “Thank you” you pointed out a flaw instead?
…..tried on a dress/piece of jewelry/pair of shoes that you absolutely LOVED and felt FABULOUS in but talked yourself out of buying because it was too expensive/impractical/”unnecessary”?
…..not shopped for yourself because you were waiting until you were a certain size?
I have. And I was so proud of myself for being so practical; so self-controlled; so unselfish. It really made me feel so happy! Yeah, that’s a BIG FAT LIE!!!!! In reality I was talking myself out of happiness. You could even go so far as to say that I was being a little arrogant and self-righteous because I would look at others buying themselves things and have an attitude like, “Oh right, like they really need another whatever. They’re so self-centered! I have so much more restraint than that!”
Now, I’m not advocating being irresponsible with our budget, but I am pointing out that talking ourselves out of happiness just to be perceived as modest, practical, self-controlled or unselfish is not coming across like we’d hope because I believe that self-denial just ends up showing itself in a different way, such as resentment or depression. And what’s even worse is that sometimes we feel we are undeserving of happiness because we’re not good enough, or we don’t earn enough or we aren’t looking a certain way and that’s just all kinds of WRONG!!!
No matter where we are right now in our bodies or socio-economic status, we deserve to feel happiness. Children don’t worry about any of that stuff and yet they find ways to find happiness even in the simplest things. I’m posting a link that I’ve seen recently of toddler twins having a great time playing with rubber bands. This just makes me smile and I dare you not to chuckle at least a little watching it:
The next time you find you’re talking yourself out of some happiness, just stop! Your family, co-workers, or friends don’t deserve anymore happiness than you do. Do what brings you joy, and take the time to do it, guilt free! And please be sure to share with us what you did so we can enjoy too!
-Tessa L. Charles