I had a great conversation with my sister and one of my best friends, it went in the direction of looking good for "our men," and about how comfortable women are in their own skin in front of their husbands, or guys that may potentially be in their lives. It was interesting to talk about our different perspectives, with my sister being married for years, myself being married just a few months, and my friend in the dating world; even with different perspectives, our take on this wasn't so far off from each other.
In high school I remember my friends and me going boy crazy, trying to look good all the time, comparing ourselves with other girls, and loving the attention we got from the boys. But is this the attention I needed or wanted? Later on discovering myself more, I got my answers...I was loving myself depending on others opinions, instead of loving myself for me. Growing up I may not have been the most secure person, and speaking with my sister, friend and other woman, we realized that there are many women who feel or have felt the same. Because I was very outgoing and thought I didn't care what other people thought, it took a while for me to realize and admit that maybe I was insecure. But it led me to learn how much I am worth, and how much I am deserving of love and respect, and how beautiful I am inside and out, just the way I am. I realized that I was created to be royal, to be accepted and to be loved, and that I shouldn't settle for less.
After overcoming those obstacles of insecurity growing up, those times that I do like to dress up and look good, I now do it initially for me. I love to pamper myself and look good, because it makes ME feel great, like a lady. When we do dress up, put on make-up, pamper ourselves, pick the nice outfits, we should do it because we want to, not because we'd feel judged if we didn't. I know for me, when I like to look good for my husband it's because I want to, not because he needs me to. I know that he likes when I take care of myself and when I get all "dolled up," but he nevers asks me to, that's almost the reason why I do it, knowing he'll love me no matter what; it almost makes want to look good for him because it isn't a requirement. I love that I can be comfortable in my relationship where I can be around him with no make-up on and my hair tied up. Most of the time when my husband calls me beautiful, it is first thing in the morning, when I first wake up; it's at those times when I think I look my worst, he calls me beautiful. It is a great feeling knowing that I can be my complete and true self around this man who I intend to spend the rest of my life with. I love all the things we are learning about each other every day, and I love even more that we have already learned to respect each other and be completely comfortable and open with each other through our words, actions, and appearance.
It is important to be comfortable in your own skin, be confident of who you are, realize your worth and make sure that the person you're with and the people around you know that. Don't let people judge you and your character and let others love you with no make-up on. Don't settle for less than you're worth...which is A LOT!!
-Rubi Anne Dijamco Agostini