Are you doing anything in your life that you love so much, you have to be extremely disciplined to do it? I'm not the biggest sports enthusiast, but when my dad and brother are watching, I do catch a few games. The other day we were watching a football game and it was maybe 100 degrees outside. And instead of actually watching the game, I was watching how hard they were playing and thinking how disciplined and dedicated they must be; all geared up with I'm sure a few pounds of padding and other a stuff and wearing a helmet, in 100 degree weather, while playing their hearts out like it was their first or last game. I was so impressed with the dedication and discipline these guys had, I started to think if there was anything in my life that I put as much into.
Okay, you don't have to be a football player playing in 100 degree weather to realize your dedication and discipline for something you are passionate about. I watch my brother studying day and night, waking up early, going to bed late, and skipping out on some things because he wants to finish studying, or writing a paper or a sermon, whatever it is, he lets his passion guide him. And when there are times that he chooses to hang out, knowing he has a paper due, that's even more discipline to stay up a little later or wake up earlier. I love watching the dedication that he has for a dream that he is passionate about, it's so inspiring to me and so many other people. He knows what he wants and he's going after it, he knows the benefits of his future if he disciplines himself now. And there is also my sister who had dedicated herself to living away from home, away from friends and family to follow her heart and her passion. She has now built a great life for herself, married to the man she loves and still dedicated to her career that drove her to where she is today. I admire her strength and love how in love she gets with what she's passionate about, she is also such an inspiration of discipline and dedication.
The dedication that you have doesn't have to be towards one specific dream or goal that drives you...you can be passionate about your life in general, living with a heart to dedicate yourself in anything that you do. Maybe you don't give everything your all, 100%, but in everything that you do, if you find the discipline to follow through, the outcome will be that much sweeter and you'll have a great feeling of accomplishment.
Maybe you play a sport, or you're training for a marathon, or training a new pet; maybe you're a chef or even a cook working long hours in a hot kitchen, managing a business, raising a family, a student, interning, in your career, in a new relationship, just married, married for years, in an "in between" job; whatever you're doing or whatever position you're in, there is always a need to discipline and dedicate yourself. In some areas of your life, you may find things more difficult, and some things you may find and realize your natural passion for. Whatever it is, find it's worth and let yourself be dedicated.
Sometimes your situation may find you in a difficult spot, you may need to put your "game face on" or have that "game time" mentality, in any case, let your heart and your passion guide you towards your goal or maybe even just your next step . Don't ever be discouraged if something doesn't work out, or things aren't going according to your plan, or if you ever think you're missing out in life; if you're doing something from the heart, whether it's ideal or not, be proud of yourself and feel accomplished. Don't feel like "your life is over" because one thing didn't work out. Know that you have so much going for you, and you will always recover if you let yourself. Give worth to all that do, follow your heart and find something that your are passionate about. Live your life in "game time" and let your passion drive you.
-Rubi Anne Dijamco Agostini
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Book, Chapter and Verse
When I was very young I thought that reading was magical. When my mom read to me, I was amazed that ink scribbled on paper could be combined in such a way they could be read with eyes, uttered by mouth, translated into sound, heard by my ears and in my mind’s eye, “paint” a picture and evoke feelings as a story would evolve. I wanted nothing more than to learn to read and make that magic happen for myself…..and ASAP! I remember memorizing books, page by page so that I could “read” to my Dad when he came home.
I couldn’t wait to go to school because that’s where I’d learn to read. One day my Mom drove to an elementary school to find out when they started but when came back a few minutes later, she told me that I couldn’t go to that school for a whole year because my birthday is in the middle of December (I thought, “What did my birthday have to do with anything?”). I was heartbroken. So she enrolled me in the neighborhood kindergarten instead. I was so happy to be going to school with the prospect of FINALLY learning to read only to find out during the first week of school that the only thing we were going to learn was our ABC’s! I was FURIOUS!! I told my teacher on the fourth day, when we were receiving our mini-donut (“D” for donut!) that I already knew my ABC’s (HELLO!?!?!), hoping she’d put me in the place where there was reading being taught! She just shrugged and said, “Well, that’s great”.
When I finally reached first grade (you know, when a kid is almost 6 years old, waiting a whole YEAR is a huge chunk of lifetime!), I was so desperate to read I learned as fast as I could, and even snuck the reader book home and read ahead (both of which were specifically NOT allowed) and quickly advanced to the top reading group in the class. One day, our teacher was helping the slower reading group (the “Orange” group), so she told those of us in the “Blue” group to read to ourselves. Read to ourselves???? What?! Luckily one of the other kids asked how that was done and my teacher told us it was like reading out loud, but without moving our lips or saying the words out loud. Wow!!!! I didn’t know that was possible!!! But I tried it and from that moment on, I was a reading maniac!
When I got older, my love for reading also expanded to my fondness for writing, hence, this blog. But what I wanted to write about today is writing our own book. The book I’m talking about is not literal or tangible; the book I’m talking about is a representation of the story of our lives. I heard someone say that our lives are like a book and every day we get to write a verse or a chapter. I really like the idea of being an author because as such, I get to write my own story and I have total control. As the author I get to tell the story I want. I get to choose to between a good decision and a bad one and even if I happen to make a bad choice, I can always choose to re-write that decision to have a positive outcome and learn from it. I get to choose the ending to every situation! I can choose to close a chapter when I believe I’m finished with it and I can even choose to write a whole new book! I can write all kinds of books from action/adventure, fiction, non-fiction, romance, heck, I can choose to write a whole library of books! Furthermore, I can choose to lend the “books” to others, hoping they’ll learn from them (or at least be entertained by them!). I am the author of my life, I get to CHOOSE!
You are the author of your own book. You get to choose. You are in control. Care to share your story?
-Tessa L. Charles
I couldn’t wait to go to school because that’s where I’d learn to read. One day my Mom drove to an elementary school to find out when they started but when came back a few minutes later, she told me that I couldn’t go to that school for a whole year because my birthday is in the middle of December (I thought, “What did my birthday have to do with anything?”). I was heartbroken. So she enrolled me in the neighborhood kindergarten instead. I was so happy to be going to school with the prospect of FINALLY learning to read only to find out during the first week of school that the only thing we were going to learn was our ABC’s! I was FURIOUS!! I told my teacher on the fourth day, when we were receiving our mini-donut (“D” for donut!) that I already knew my ABC’s (HELLO!?!?!), hoping she’d put me in the place where there was reading being taught! She just shrugged and said, “Well, that’s great”.
When I finally reached first grade (you know, when a kid is almost 6 years old, waiting a whole YEAR is a huge chunk of lifetime!), I was so desperate to read I learned as fast as I could, and even snuck the reader book home and read ahead (both of which were specifically NOT allowed) and quickly advanced to the top reading group in the class. One day, our teacher was helping the slower reading group (the “Orange” group), so she told those of us in the “Blue” group to read to ourselves. Read to ourselves???? What?! Luckily one of the other kids asked how that was done and my teacher told us it was like reading out loud, but without moving our lips or saying the words out loud. Wow!!!! I didn’t know that was possible!!! But I tried it and from that moment on, I was a reading maniac!
When I got older, my love for reading also expanded to my fondness for writing, hence, this blog. But what I wanted to write about today is writing our own book. The book I’m talking about is not literal or tangible; the book I’m talking about is a representation of the story of our lives. I heard someone say that our lives are like a book and every day we get to write a verse or a chapter. I really like the idea of being an author because as such, I get to write my own story and I have total control. As the author I get to tell the story I want. I get to choose to between a good decision and a bad one and even if I happen to make a bad choice, I can always choose to re-write that decision to have a positive outcome and learn from it. I get to choose the ending to every situation! I can choose to close a chapter when I believe I’m finished with it and I can even choose to write a whole new book! I can write all kinds of books from action/adventure, fiction, non-fiction, romance, heck, I can choose to write a whole library of books! Furthermore, I can choose to lend the “books” to others, hoping they’ll learn from them (or at least be entertained by them!). I am the author of my life, I get to CHOOSE!
You are the author of your own book. You get to choose. You are in control. Care to share your story?
-Tessa L. Charles
Thursday, September 12, 2013
COM(with a)PROMISE
“My pride, my ego, my needs and my selfish ways
Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life
Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made
And it haunts me every time I close my eyes
Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life
Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made
And it haunts me every time I close my eyes
Too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have bought you flowers and held your hand
Should have gave all my hours when I had the chance
Take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby is dancing, but she's dancing with another man.”
It’s funny because
when I heard this song on the radio and actually listened to the lyrics, I was
with my cousin and we kept laughing about it.
We were laughing because we kept saying, “oh, what an idiot.” Of course we were saying it jokingly, because
we all know that in reality, situations like this really happen.
A lot of people end
up in relationships and get so uncomfortably comfortable that things start to feel
stagnant. And if we don’t communicate
this with one another, one or both will feel unloved and want out. Now, unlike this song, we don’t have to
expect flowers all the time, we don’t need to hold hands every second, we don’t
NEED a lot of things, but what we do NEED from each other is constant love,
respect and some kind of genuine affection, however you may show it.
Being that I’ve been
in a few relationships throughout my years and now being married, I’ve learned
that being in a relationship means getting to know each other and understanding
each other, even if we don’t agree. I’ve
learned and am still learning what I want, need and deserve in a relationship
and now I’m also learning all those of my husband as well; this way I can reciprocate
the very best I can.
Also, unlike the person in this song, instead of passing up opportunities to show my affection, to then regret my decisions later, I’ve learned that one of the more important aspects to grasp in a relationship is compromise. When you agree to be in relationship with someone, whether it is with a significant other, family or friends, you have to learn to compromise…you COM(with a)PROMISE and vice versa. When you compromise, you are coming with a promise to realize that it’s not always about what you think or what you want or what you need or what you want to do or don’t want to do, it goes both ways.
Also, unlike the person in this song, instead of passing up opportunities to show my affection, to then regret my decisions later, I’ve learned that one of the more important aspects to grasp in a relationship is compromise. When you agree to be in relationship with someone, whether it is with a significant other, family or friends, you have to learn to compromise…you COM(with a)PROMISE and vice versa. When you compromise, you are coming with a promise to realize that it’s not always about what you think or what you want or what you need or what you want to do or don’t want to do, it goes both ways.
I’ve learned so much
about compromise from my parents.
Whenever I see them together and observe the kind of relationship
they have, I know it IS the kind of relationship I want. I think they have definitely mastered the art of communication and compromise and made the choice to love each other no matter what.
Although they were raised completely differently, and their ways of life weren’t always the same, by making the early decision to choose to love each other they were committed to COM(with a)PROMISE. It didn’t matter where they lived, where they worked, if they had kids or not, they worked everything out together. If they had opposite schedules or completely different interests, they still did what they loved, but in the end always made things work. They have their ways of showing each other love, respect and affection without smothering one another. They’ve learned to give each other space to do their own things, but always support each other through everything. And to this day, they have learned to sustain a healthy social life, maintain a happy home, raise 3 kids, while still keeping their romance alive. They always tell each other "I Love You," they still leave notes for each other, my dad leaves messages on their bathroom mirror with toothpaste, constantly calling my mom beautiful and actively loving her, while my mom reciprocates her love by respecting his words, actions and decisions, constantly showing him affection and making him laugh. They hold hands, dance together, laugh together, eat together, pray together, and never take each other for granted.
Although they were raised completely differently, and their ways of life weren’t always the same, by making the early decision to choose to love each other they were committed to COM(with a)PROMISE. It didn’t matter where they lived, where they worked, if they had kids or not, they worked everything out together. If they had opposite schedules or completely different interests, they still did what they loved, but in the end always made things work. They have their ways of showing each other love, respect and affection without smothering one another. They’ve learned to give each other space to do their own things, but always support each other through everything. And to this day, they have learned to sustain a healthy social life, maintain a happy home, raise 3 kids, while still keeping their romance alive. They always tell each other "I Love You," they still leave notes for each other, my dad leaves messages on their bathroom mirror with toothpaste, constantly calling my mom beautiful and actively loving her, while my mom reciprocates her love by respecting his words, actions and decisions, constantly showing him affection and making him laugh. They hold hands, dance together, laugh together, eat together, pray together, and never take each other for granted.
You can get to the
point where your relationship is completely comfortable, when you can do
anything, everything and nothing with another and it’s perfectly fine, but
this doesn’t mean that it should go stagnant.
Keep it exciting, always communicate and don’t stop compromising. Decide you are in this together and if you know your partner wants flowers, buy some flowers (occasionally);
if he/she wants to hold your hand, then
hold it; if your love needs your time, make
some; if your partner wants to dance, dance…and remember that this goes both ways, but sometimes it just needs a little boost of communication.
-Rubi Anne Dijamco
Agostini
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
A Very Tale
I like writing stories. Here is a short story I recently wrote and told in front of an audience. I hope you enjoy it:
Once upon a time there was a young bride and groom who went to the seaside for their honeymoon. They spent their mornings walking on the pristine sands of the seashore, their sunsets in awed silence and their starry nights talking about their plans for the future.
The groom was thoroughly enthralled with his bride and considered himself brilliant for marrying the most beautiful woman he had ever encountered. The bride adored her groom and considered herself blessed to have selected a man with such strength and integrity as well as tender loving kindness.
One beautiful sunny morning after a late breakfast, they decided to take a walk in the small village near their villa. Unrushed they casually strolled into and out of several little shops admiring antiques in one and clothing in another. As they passed a jewelry store, the bride stopped dead in her tracks. A sparkly necklace caught her eye as well as her breath.
“Ohhh! Isn’t that beautiful?” she exclaimed.
“It really is” replied her groom.
“Oh, look at the color! I LOVE it! It’s so perfect, isn’t it? I wonder how much it costs. Probably a lot, you know these little shops in touristy locations” she said as she craned her neck this way and that to try to get a glimpse at the price on the miniscule tag.
All of a sudden the sales lady inside the store snatched the necklace from out of the window. Slightly indignant, the bride turned toward her husband only to find him gone from her side. “Where could he have gone?” she thought to herself as she turned herself around looking for him. Out of the corner of her eye she immediately caught sight of the color of his shirt……. He was INSIDE THE STORE!
“He’s buying it for me!” the bride gasped.
She ran into the shop to find her groom at the sales counter, wallet opened and a credit card at the end of his outstretched hand. He placed the necklace around her neck as she beamed, “Thank you!”
“It was too beautiful to pass up” he replied.
And as they walked out of the store hand in hand, her head on his shoulder, he smilingly said,
“If you want the matching earrings, I think you’re on your own.”
I enjoy true love stories, I think many women do. The young bride in the story reminds me of how when women are able to trust and free to love, they will adore their true love. The young groom demonstrates his love for his beautiful bride by fulfilling her every desire, before she even asks. In fact, he would give his life for his bride without her asking.
I hope you found this story I made up inspiring and that it touches your romantic side………only, I’m lying. It’s not a fairy tale or a made up story. It is a true story. I saw it play out with my own eyes this summer and it was probably the most romantic thing I have ever witnessed. Furthermore, the young bride and groom portrayed in the story are not newlyweds, but have been married for over 48 years!
In a world where negative stories and get so much attention and where frivolous, narcissistic individuals earn “livings” by showcasing their “realities”, it makes me proud to know and pass on a TRUE story about a love that has lasted through bad times and good with people who have learned (and still continue to learn) how to love each another on purpose. They have repeatedly admitted to me that it has not been easy, but as far as their marriage goes, they have been and are intentional. They are a role model for all.
Please feel free to share a true love story. You may comment below or email me at: dailytlc@gmail.com and I will post your story. We love inspiring stories and we love the idea of counteracting all the negative stories with positive ones..........so we can live happily ever after.
-Tessa L. Charles
Once upon a time there was a young bride and groom who went to the seaside for their honeymoon. They spent their mornings walking on the pristine sands of the seashore, their sunsets in awed silence and their starry nights talking about their plans for the future.
The groom was thoroughly enthralled with his bride and considered himself brilliant for marrying the most beautiful woman he had ever encountered. The bride adored her groom and considered herself blessed to have selected a man with such strength and integrity as well as tender loving kindness.
One beautiful sunny morning after a late breakfast, they decided to take a walk in the small village near their villa. Unrushed they casually strolled into and out of several little shops admiring antiques in one and clothing in another. As they passed a jewelry store, the bride stopped dead in her tracks. A sparkly necklace caught her eye as well as her breath.
“Ohhh! Isn’t that beautiful?” she exclaimed.
“It really is” replied her groom.
“Oh, look at the color! I LOVE it! It’s so perfect, isn’t it? I wonder how much it costs. Probably a lot, you know these little shops in touristy locations” she said as she craned her neck this way and that to try to get a glimpse at the price on the miniscule tag.
All of a sudden the sales lady inside the store snatched the necklace from out of the window. Slightly indignant, the bride turned toward her husband only to find him gone from her side. “Where could he have gone?” she thought to herself as she turned herself around looking for him. Out of the corner of her eye she immediately caught sight of the color of his shirt……. He was INSIDE THE STORE!
“He’s buying it for me!” the bride gasped.
She ran into the shop to find her groom at the sales counter, wallet opened and a credit card at the end of his outstretched hand. He placed the necklace around her neck as she beamed, “Thank you!”
“It was too beautiful to pass up” he replied.
And as they walked out of the store hand in hand, her head on his shoulder, he smilingly said,
“If you want the matching earrings, I think you’re on your own.”
I enjoy true love stories, I think many women do. The young bride in the story reminds me of how when women are able to trust and free to love, they will adore their true love. The young groom demonstrates his love for his beautiful bride by fulfilling her every desire, before she even asks. In fact, he would give his life for his bride without her asking.
I hope you found this story I made up inspiring and that it touches your romantic side………only, I’m lying. It’s not a fairy tale or a made up story. It is a true story. I saw it play out with my own eyes this summer and it was probably the most romantic thing I have ever witnessed. Furthermore, the young bride and groom portrayed in the story are not newlyweds, but have been married for over 48 years!
In a world where negative stories and get so much attention and where frivolous, narcissistic individuals earn “livings” by showcasing their “realities”, it makes me proud to know and pass on a TRUE story about a love that has lasted through bad times and good with people who have learned (and still continue to learn) how to love each another on purpose. They have repeatedly admitted to me that it has not been easy, but as far as their marriage goes, they have been and are intentional. They are a role model for all.
Please feel free to share a true love story. You may comment below or email me at: dailytlc@gmail.com and I will post your story. We love inspiring stories and we love the idea of counteracting all the negative stories with positive ones..........so we can live happily ever after.
-Tessa L. Charles
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Dress To Impress...Who?
As women, or I guess this can apply to men as well, who do we try to look good for? When we are getting ready in the morning, picking our nice clothes, putting on make-up, fixing our hair, who are we trying to impress? Are we fixing ourselves up for us, or our we doing it for other people? I know there is a difference when we're going into a professional setting, but I'm talking about our every day lives, just leaving the house.
I had a great conversation with my sister and one of my best friends, it went in the direction of looking good for "our men," and about how comfortable women are in their own skin in front of their husbands, or guys that may potentially be in their lives. It was interesting to talk about our different perspectives, with my sister being married for years, myself being married just a few months, and my friend in the dating world; even with different perspectives, our take on this wasn't so far off from each other.
In high school I remember my friends and me going boy crazy, trying to look good all the time, comparing ourselves with other girls, and loving the attention we got from the boys. But is this the attention I needed or wanted? Later on discovering myself more, I got my answers...I was loving myself depending on others opinions, instead of loving myself for me. Growing up I may not have been the most secure person, and speaking with my sister, friend and other woman, we realized that there are many women who feel or have felt the same. Because I was very outgoing and thought I didn't care what other people thought, it took a while for me to realize and admit that maybe I was insecure. But it led me to learn how much I am worth, and how much I am deserving of love and respect, and how beautiful I am inside and out, just the way I am. I realized that I was created to be royal, to be accepted and to be loved, and that I shouldn't settle for less.
After overcoming those obstacles of insecurity growing up, those times that I do like to dress up and look good, I now do it initially for me. I love to pamper myself and look good, because it makes ME feel great, like a lady. When we do dress up, put on make-up, pamper ourselves, pick the nice outfits, we should do it because we want to, not because we'd feel judged if we didn't. I know for me, when I like to look good for my husband it's because I want to, not because he needs me to. I know that he likes when I take care of myself and when I get all "dolled up," but he nevers asks me to, that's almost the reason why I do it, knowing he'll love me no matter what; it almost makes want to look good for him because it isn't a requirement. I love that I can be comfortable in my relationship where I can be around him with no make-up on and my hair tied up. Most of the time when my husband calls me beautiful, it is first thing in the morning, when I first wake up; it's at those times when I think I look my worst, he calls me beautiful. It is a great feeling knowing that I can be my complete and true self around this man who I intend to spend the rest of my life with. I love all the things we are learning about each other every day, and I love even more that we have already learned to respect each other and be completely comfortable and open with each other through our words, actions, and appearance.
It is important to be comfortable in your own skin, be confident of who you are, realize your worth and make sure that the person you're with and the people around you know that. Don't let people judge you and your character and let others love you with no make-up on. Don't settle for less than you're worth...which is A LOT!!
-Rubi Anne Dijamco Agostini
I had a great conversation with my sister and one of my best friends, it went in the direction of looking good for "our men," and about how comfortable women are in their own skin in front of their husbands, or guys that may potentially be in their lives. It was interesting to talk about our different perspectives, with my sister being married for years, myself being married just a few months, and my friend in the dating world; even with different perspectives, our take on this wasn't so far off from each other.
In high school I remember my friends and me going boy crazy, trying to look good all the time, comparing ourselves with other girls, and loving the attention we got from the boys. But is this the attention I needed or wanted? Later on discovering myself more, I got my answers...I was loving myself depending on others opinions, instead of loving myself for me. Growing up I may not have been the most secure person, and speaking with my sister, friend and other woman, we realized that there are many women who feel or have felt the same. Because I was very outgoing and thought I didn't care what other people thought, it took a while for me to realize and admit that maybe I was insecure. But it led me to learn how much I am worth, and how much I am deserving of love and respect, and how beautiful I am inside and out, just the way I am. I realized that I was created to be royal, to be accepted and to be loved, and that I shouldn't settle for less.
After overcoming those obstacles of insecurity growing up, those times that I do like to dress up and look good, I now do it initially for me. I love to pamper myself and look good, because it makes ME feel great, like a lady. When we do dress up, put on make-up, pamper ourselves, pick the nice outfits, we should do it because we want to, not because we'd feel judged if we didn't. I know for me, when I like to look good for my husband it's because I want to, not because he needs me to. I know that he likes when I take care of myself and when I get all "dolled up," but he nevers asks me to, that's almost the reason why I do it, knowing he'll love me no matter what; it almost makes want to look good for him because it isn't a requirement. I love that I can be comfortable in my relationship where I can be around him with no make-up on and my hair tied up. Most of the time when my husband calls me beautiful, it is first thing in the morning, when I first wake up; it's at those times when I think I look my worst, he calls me beautiful. It is a great feeling knowing that I can be my complete and true self around this man who I intend to spend the rest of my life with. I love all the things we are learning about each other every day, and I love even more that we have already learned to respect each other and be completely comfortable and open with each other through our words, actions, and appearance.
It is important to be comfortable in your own skin, be confident of who you are, realize your worth and make sure that the person you're with and the people around you know that. Don't let people judge you and your character and let others love you with no make-up on. Don't settle for less than you're worth...which is A LOT!!
-Rubi Anne Dijamco Agostini
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
SHE-roes
Comic book writers, put down your pens. Your super hero comes masked with mud, and uniformed in yoga pants. With one hand she catches falling objects faster than a speeding bullet, leaps tall (Lego) buildings in a single bound. This “hoodied” caped crusader is stronger than any known mortal man, defeating the dastardly enemy, “Burnt Crock Pot” with her superhuman strength and a scrub brush. She alone dusts overlooked crevices detected by her super bionic eyes.
Scientists, get your noses out of those books on relativity! Albert Einstein ain’t got nothin’ on this genius! She alone can discern when the trash is full, what meals can be assembled with minimal ingredients and how to make a grocery list on a budget (that doesn’t take smarts, you say? Really? Then why didn’t you think of it?!).
Ninja Warriors, you’re silent machinations are nothing compared to the invisibility of this Unknown Soldier. Unnoticed she moves about her territory putting way discarded clothes, read books, dirty dishes and who knows what else (how would anyone even notice? She’s that stealthy!!)? Undetected, she completes tasks no one else thinks to accomplish or ever recognizes!
War Generals, if you would only put down your weapons of destruction down for 2 minutes and actually listen to representatives of half of the population you’d probably find peaceful ways to negotiate.
World Leaders, if you would stop talking for a moment and apply the budgetary methods that these everyday economists use, our countries would likely be debt-free.
Mr. President, you think your job is thankless?
Looking for a super hero to solve all the world’s problems? Stop going to the movies, lift up your eyes and RECOGNIZE!! Your HERO is standing right in front of you asking you to pick up your stinky socks.
-Tessa L. Charles (alias: Woman)
Scientists, get your noses out of those books on relativity! Albert Einstein ain’t got nothin’ on this genius! She alone can discern when the trash is full, what meals can be assembled with minimal ingredients and how to make a grocery list on a budget (that doesn’t take smarts, you say? Really? Then why didn’t you think of it?!).
Ninja Warriors, you’re silent machinations are nothing compared to the invisibility of this Unknown Soldier. Unnoticed she moves about her territory putting way discarded clothes, read books, dirty dishes and who knows what else (how would anyone even notice? She’s that stealthy!!)? Undetected, she completes tasks no one else thinks to accomplish or ever recognizes!
War Generals, if you would only put down your weapons of destruction down for 2 minutes and actually listen to representatives of half of the population you’d probably find peaceful ways to negotiate.
World Leaders, if you would stop talking for a moment and apply the budgetary methods that these everyday economists use, our countries would likely be debt-free.
Mr. President, you think your job is thankless?
Looking for a super hero to solve all the world’s problems? Stop going to the movies, lift up your eyes and RECOGNIZE!! Your HERO is standing right in front of you asking you to pick up your stinky socks.
-Tessa L. Charles (alias: Woman)
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Decisions, Decisions, Decisions
Have you heard it said, “You can’t help who you fall in love with”; or the excuse, “I couldn’t help myself”; or the claim, “So-and-so made me do it”? Have you said one or all of those things yourself? I know I have. What I’m learning is that all those statements are bunk!
We all have free will and all those statements are lies because you do decide with whom you fall in love with, you can make a different choice and unless someone is holding a gun to your head, no one can make you do anything (even if someone is holding a gun to your head, you still have a choice I suppose).
When positive or negative circumstances happen to us it is a direct or even indirect result of a choice of our own and/or of someone else or even a combination therein. Think of something “random” that has happened to you, negative or positive, and think of all the decisions that needed to take place for that to happen just the way it did.
We are accountable to our own actions and sometimes we suffer from the actions of others. It may not be fair, but remember, sometimes other people suffer (or even benefit) from the consequences from the decisions we make as well. What I’m not saying is that we need to take the blame (shame, guilt etc.) for our past choices or place the blame (shame, guilt etc.) on anyone else. Regret is a time thief and does nothing to change the outcome of any given circumstance. But that doesn’t prevent us from learning and gaining wisdom from our decisions of the past to benefit the future.
Realizing that we all are accountable for our decisions as well as free to make our own decisions helps us to understand our own individual power. Therefore, we can conclude that everyone else is just as powerful as us. Since everyone is just as powerful, we need to recognize that the only person we can control is ourselves and that’s especially true in our closest relationships. Remember, love is a choice and we can choose to love someone even when they are not acting particularly loving towards us. We are also free to choose not to love them anymore, but then we can’t turn around and tell others it was their fault when the relationship ends because it was our choice to end it. We are free to choose to forgive people……or not. We are free to allow others to make unwise choices, and we are even free to offer them help……but then they are also free to accept the help or not, but that is because it is a matter of choice.
There is a good book about this subject which I am in the middle of reading. It is called, Keep Your Love On: Connection Communication and Boundaries, by Danny Silk and it has shown me how powerless I have been behaving all my life. I am involved with a women’s group which is actually studying this book and if you’re in the Walnut, CA area and are interested in joining us, email me at dailytlc@gmail.com and I’ll give you the details. If you have children there is a book by the same author called, Loving Our Kids On Purpose: Making A Heart-To-Heart Connection which includes practical actions for raising children who are powerful and have self-control. I have even started using some methods on my own sons who are 16 and 20 because it’s never too late!
We are powerful. We are free. I’m just learning a bit at a time what that means so won’t you join me in practicing all that freedom has to offer?
-Tessa L. Charles
We all have free will and all those statements are lies because you do decide with whom you fall in love with, you can make a different choice and unless someone is holding a gun to your head, no one can make you do anything (even if someone is holding a gun to your head, you still have a choice I suppose).
When positive or negative circumstances happen to us it is a direct or even indirect result of a choice of our own and/or of someone else or even a combination therein. Think of something “random” that has happened to you, negative or positive, and think of all the decisions that needed to take place for that to happen just the way it did.
We are accountable to our own actions and sometimes we suffer from the actions of others. It may not be fair, but remember, sometimes other people suffer (or even benefit) from the consequences from the decisions we make as well. What I’m not saying is that we need to take the blame (shame, guilt etc.) for our past choices or place the blame (shame, guilt etc.) on anyone else. Regret is a time thief and does nothing to change the outcome of any given circumstance. But that doesn’t prevent us from learning and gaining wisdom from our decisions of the past to benefit the future.
Realizing that we all are accountable for our decisions as well as free to make our own decisions helps us to understand our own individual power. Therefore, we can conclude that everyone else is just as powerful as us. Since everyone is just as powerful, we need to recognize that the only person we can control is ourselves and that’s especially true in our closest relationships. Remember, love is a choice and we can choose to love someone even when they are not acting particularly loving towards us. We are also free to choose not to love them anymore, but then we can’t turn around and tell others it was their fault when the relationship ends because it was our choice to end it. We are free to choose to forgive people……or not. We are free to allow others to make unwise choices, and we are even free to offer them help……but then they are also free to accept the help or not, but that is because it is a matter of choice.
There is a good book about this subject which I am in the middle of reading. It is called, Keep Your Love On: Connection Communication and Boundaries, by Danny Silk and it has shown me how powerless I have been behaving all my life. I am involved with a women’s group which is actually studying this book and if you’re in the Walnut, CA area and are interested in joining us, email me at dailytlc@gmail.com and I’ll give you the details. If you have children there is a book by the same author called, Loving Our Kids On Purpose: Making A Heart-To-Heart Connection which includes practical actions for raising children who are powerful and have self-control. I have even started using some methods on my own sons who are 16 and 20 because it’s never too late!
We are powerful. We are free. I’m just learning a bit at a time what that means so won’t you join me in practicing all that freedom has to offer?
-Tessa L. Charles
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